1 00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:10,219 What do you think? "Coke Classic" or "Crystal Pepsi"? 2 00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:12,638 - Crystal Pepsi. - No Crystal Pepsi after Labor Day. 3 00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:14,515 Every day is after Labor Day. 4 00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:22,064 I've just never seen you fiddle so much with the presets. 5 00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:24,650 It's my ex-wife's inauguration, not a villain's lair. 6 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:25,651 I want to look good. 7 00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:27,945 So you're thinking about this as kind of a date? 8 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,531 What? I'm not a teenager, Banks. We're divorced. 9 00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:32,573 She's a governor now, and she's reaching out. 10 00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:35,869 I just want to reward that reach, inspire further reaching. 11 00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:36,954 Oh, my God. 12 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,206 Sir, the head of Homeland Security, 13 00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:42,584 a real fuddy and duddy of a man, is here. 14 00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:44,670 - Send him in, Janice. - Agent O'Doyle, 15 00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:46,630 you are being red carded, again. 16 00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:49,341 Apparently, you broke a congressman's arm in five places. 17 00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,426 He brandished an edged weapon at the president. 18 00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:55,472 He says it was a replica Civil War sword and he was being politically theatrical. 19 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:56,848 Well, the stage is pain. 20 00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:59,893 Still, please report for reevaluation at West Wing World. 21 00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,062 What? No! That's my boy. 22 00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:04,147 And I thought the congressman agreed to keep it quiet. 23 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:07,359 It was actually pretty loud--five really distinct, unforgettable sounds. 24 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,027 The congressman isn't the one who talked. 25 00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:11,989 Rho Banks, you also need to report for reevaluation 26 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,282 for snitching on O'Doyle. 27 00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:14,616 - Banks! - That scans. 28 00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:17,160 "Snitching"? I cooperated with a formal inquiry. 29 00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:18,912 - You asked me what happened. - Yeah. 30 00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:20,539 You're supposed to lie to me, dummy. 31 00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:23,875 Look, none of my business, but I assume you guys are attempting to be a team here, 32 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:25,711 something with a sense of franchise. 33 00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,420 - That comes with trust. - Pass. 34 00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:31,174 In the meantime, Special Agent Chomps will fill in for O'Doyle. 35 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,051 It's good to see you again, sir. 36 00:01:33,134 --> 00:01:37,097 No, man! No! Not Chomps! The only thing cool about him is his name. 37 00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:38,890 Chomps is our highest-ranking agent. 38 00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:41,518 He's a normie. He's a Chad. Am I using that right? 39 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,937 I need my team. I'm seeing my ex-wife tonight. 40 00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:47,733 You're not seeing it as, like, a date, are you? 41 00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:49,776 Fuck you, and fuck you for snitching. 42 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:51,527 And, Chomps, what's with the clenched fists? 43 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,280 You trying to convince us you're a badass? 44 00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:54,406 I brought candy! 45 00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:57,283 Oh, fucking Chomps, man. 46 00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:26,980 Wow. Your ex-wife has had quite the career, sir-- 47 00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:30,484 the only mayor of Chicago who could rehabilitate Candyman. 48 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:34,363 People gave her a lot of flak for that concept, including me, but her ideas work. 49 00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:37,031 Sir, are you sure about the flowers? 50 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:39,534 The governor might interpret them as a move. 51 00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:42,829 Chomps, when I want your help, I'll stand in the path of a bullet. 52 00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:44,122 - Copy that. - Andre! 53 00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:47,000 Congratulations, governor-elect. Looking sharp, Beverly. 54 00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:49,543 And you are handsome, as always. 55 00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:50,921 I love the flowers, but you know 56 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,798 - you can't hand those to me, right? - Why not? 57 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:54,633 Because I won an election, not a beauty pageant. 58 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:56,635 Kind of the same thing, but point taken. 59 00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:58,512 I feel like this hug is going on too long. 60 00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,555 Pretend like I said something funny, then pull back and laugh. 61 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,349 I'm usually the one who says the funny thing. 62 00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:03,600 Now that's hilarious. 63 00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:07,312 It's good to see the world catching up to you, Bev. 64 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,481 And I got very excited when you invited me. 65 00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:11,400 It's not like you had to invite me, so... 66 00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:13,068 Oh, Jesus, of course I had to. 67 00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:14,403 - Sorry? - Think about it. 68 00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:16,488 Ex-wife of the sitting president turned governor? 69 00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:18,573 If you're not here, that becomes the headline-- 70 00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:20,992 "President Curtis blows off ex-wife's inauguration 71 00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,411 to fight Bigfoot," or whatever. 72 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:23,829 I already fought Bigfoot. 73 00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:26,206 And now I have an even more challenging assignment. 74 00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:27,833 - What's that? - Don't do anything. 75 00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,418 Just be here, for me. 76 00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:32,879 But not underneath me or above me or in front of me or behind me. 77 00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:35,632 - So...where do you want me? - There are tables everywhere. 78 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,050 And there's a photo later, 79 00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:39,970 and if you're standing too far or too close to me in it, 80 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:44,224 20 years of my work becomes a tabloid story about our sex life, so... 81 00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:45,934 - nuance. - Oh, Beverly! 82 00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:49,062 - Mind if I steal her, Mr. President? - She belongs to the world, my friend! 83 00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:50,522 Talk to you later, Beverly. 84 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:53,108 The fuck is nuance? 85 00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:54,651 [ Intercom chimes ] 86 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,320 Now entering Los Silencios: Sector Five. 87 00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,322 Next stop, West Wing World. 88 00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:03,326 You understand I didn't, like, tattle on you. 89 00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,661 You explained already. 90 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,872 Someone asked you what I did, and you answered them. 91 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:09,458 Exactly! And isn't your gimmick that you never lie? 92 00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:11,042 - I would have kept quiet. - Okay. 93 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:13,378 So, if I murdered someone and you saw it 94 00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:15,255 and the police asked you if I murdered someone, 95 00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:16,673 you would just say nothing? 96 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:19,468 Is this scenario happening after you snitched on me? 97 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:22,721 Hey, aren't you the Secret Service guy who broke that congressman's arm? 98 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,267 See how easy? 99 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:28,185 Yes. 100 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:31,021 Now arriving at West Wing World. 101 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,648 Geez. What even is this place? 102 00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:35,901 It's a simulated town populated by robots 103 00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:38,320 that test you on the skills required by your position. 104 00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:40,489 I take it the results don't matter, or you'd be gone by now. 105 00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:42,115 I'm just good at it, Banks. 106 00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:45,118 They put me on a fake street and try to trick me into shooting a baby. 107 00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:46,119 I even know the pattern. 108 00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:48,789 Gun, baby, gun, gun, baby, baby, baby, gun, baby, gun, gun, 109 00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:50,207 - and it ends with a gun baby. - A what? 110 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,500 A baby with a gun. 111 00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:54,878 It's a no-win scenario, but this time I have an idea. 112 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,672 Hi, there, Chief of Staff Banks and Special Agent O'Doyle. 113 00:04:57,756 --> 00:05:00,091 All interactions with our staff are tracked on these. 114 00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:03,303 You must score 70% or more, otherwise you'll be fired. 115 00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:04,429 That's fine. 116 00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:06,264 Even-keeled in the face of a threat. 117 00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:07,849 Nice work, Agent O'Doyle. 118 00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:09,768 You better fucking believe it. 119 00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:12,395 But Beverly Mills didn't see a horror story, 120 00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:13,730 she saw hope. 121 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,024 Working with Candyman and urban scientists, 122 00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:19,361 they created CPEP, the Candyman Perpetual Energy Project, 123 00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:21,613 a system that captured his murdering energy 124 00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:25,242 with a series of mirrors, hooks, and kinetic impact absorbers. 125 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,994 Candyman, Candyman, Candyman, Candyman, Candyman. 126 00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,624 Candyman, Candyman, Candyman, Candyman, Candyman. 127 00:05:33,707 --> 00:05:37,796 A decade later, CPEP powers over 20% of Chicago, 128 00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:41,258 and Candyman stands as a symbol of monster crime reborn. 129 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:45,428 From CPEP to raising minimum wage to Babadook book drives, 130 00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:49,599 Governor Mills is powering Illinois by planning ahead. 131 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,060 Still don't trust that Babadook, though. 132 00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:57,774 Would you like to leave, sir? 133 00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,568 I can't leave! That'd piss her off forever. 134 00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:00,944 She wants me to sit here like a prop? 135 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,196 - That's what I'm gonna do. - That's the spirit, sir! 136 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:06,116 Tonight you're just a light wind under her capable wings. 137 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,659 You know, my wife, Nina, always says-- 138 00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:09,578 Hang on. Does that server look sketchy? 139 00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:12,163 He's got the mark of the Chicago Werewolf Syndicate. 140 00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:14,374 Well, you know, Beverly's big on werewolf reform. 141 00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:17,210 She's got that MoonRight Initiative that's poppin'. 142 00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:19,588 Chomps, can you get me another ChiTown Mule? 143 00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:21,882 That's not my job, but I'm happy to serve. 144 00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:28,597 - Hey, pal. - Oh, Mr. President. 145 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,682 - Got some questions about the chow. - What? 146 00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:33,310 Yeah, see, I got GERD. It's this stomach thing. 147 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:36,646 Just making sure you're not planning any off-the-menu surprises. 148 00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:38,773 - No, sir. - Nothing spicy? 149 00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:40,775 Oh, I think you'll like what we're gonna serve. 150 00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:43,570 Sounds pretty vague. Can you walk me through the courses? 151 00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:44,946 For my GERD. 152 00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:47,866 Fuck it. 153 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,078 Got ya, bitch! 154 00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,830 Oh, shit! 155 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,129 - Tapatío! Dang it! - Oh, is that a werewolf thing? 156 00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:04,716 It's an everyone thing! No one likes hot sauce in their eyes! 157 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:07,719 Chomps! Holy shit! Use your silver bullets! 158 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:09,554 - I don't have silver bullets! - What? 159 00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:12,223 O'Doyle has garlic bullets, salt bullets, silver bullets! 160 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:15,352 I didn't bring silver bullets because I don't want you to fight a werewolf! 161 00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:19,022 I hate you, Chomps! 162 00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:23,318 Real silverware. This event is nice. 163 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:26,363 I knew that guy was up to something. Come on, we got to go tell Bev. 164 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,447 And ruin her party? 165 00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,282 Sir, this might be your last chance with Beverly. 166 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:30,825 You really want to blow it on this? 167 00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:32,661 - What are you doing? - Containing the scent. 168 00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:35,038 When you kill a werewolf, they release an alarm pheromone 169 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,707 that triggers other werewolves nearby to hulk out. 170 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:41,252 I'll call the DoD, tell them we got a Code Silver, get us a rooftop drop. 171 00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:43,088 Damn, I thought you weren't into this kind of shit. 172 00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:46,091 I'm two months from retirement, and I've never missed a mission brief. 173 00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:48,343 Let's move. Watch the dewclaws. 174 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,887 Morning, Agent O'Doyle. I'm Frank. 175 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,306 I got a big passion for firearms and safety. 176 00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:55,225 - How are you feeling today? - Fine, sir. 177 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,936 I got word there are some bad seeds on this block. 178 00:07:58,019 --> 00:08:00,730 - Think you can identify only the threats? - Yes, sir. 179 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,607 Let's see it. Gun! 180 00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,651 Baby! Gun! Gun! 181 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:07,362 Baby! Baby! Baby! 182 00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:09,364 Gun! Baby! Gun! Gun! 183 00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:10,573 Gun baby! 184 00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:13,827 Huh? 185 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:16,830 My God. Son, you solved gun baby. 186 00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:18,832 You better fucking believe it. 187 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,582 Thank you, everyone. 188 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:23,586 People like you are what make this country great. 189 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:24,713 Great job, sir. 190 00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:27,340 The town hall ran long, so I went ahead and rescheduled your 5:00 191 00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:28,925 with the prime minister of Meepos. 192 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,594 Oh, no. The moderator. She's really annoying. 193 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,388 - On it, sir. - Hello! 194 00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:35,515 The president is running behind, but here's my number. 195 00:08:35,597 --> 00:08:37,933 Let's sync up. Incredible moderating. Truly. 196 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,019 Okay. 197 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:42,147 Excellent work, Banks. You really chiefed that staff. 198 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:45,233 - I'm gonna go take a shit. - Give me a holler if you fall in, sir. 199 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,903 Oh, hey. Banks, right? I'm Tom from the train. 200 00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:51,364 Your Secret Service friend stared at me until I pissed a little. 201 00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:52,741 Yep. That's O'Doyle for you. 202 00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:54,367 He gets to snap arms like glow sticks, 203 00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:56,953 and apparently it's my fault if I don't lie about that. 204 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,872 What? What the hell? 205 00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,123 No. 206 00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:03,001 Are you fucking kidding me? 207 00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:05,962 Hey, O'Doyle. How'd your test go? 208 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,547 Well, I was acing mine, 209 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,966 but then that guy from the train baited me into blabbing about you, 210 00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,926 and he turned out to be a goddamn robot! 211 00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:13,553 That is why I keep quiet. 212 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,263 Oh, you're such a butt! 213 00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:17,766 - I'll figure it out on my own. - Doubt it. 214 00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:20,643 You know, O'Doyle always carries his own bodies. 215 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,562 Sometimes he carries me, too, piggyback. 216 00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:25,065 Right on time. Come on, shove it inside. 217 00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,652 - Jesus. - Had to contain the scent. 218 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,198 Yep! None of the pheromones got airborne, sir. 219 00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:34,657 This party is clear. 220 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:38,161 Well, just in case, I'm bringing some nuance. 221 00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,622 You're still not using that word right, sir. 222 00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:44,334 Honestly, I still can't believe you reformed the Rockford Babysitter Eater. 223 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:45,418 Wasn't that hard. 224 00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:47,962 Just had to find the right synthetic flesh for his skin suits. 225 00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:49,798 And I thought I was a picky dresser. 226 00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:52,425 Mr. President. Noticing a lot of rizz tonight. 227 00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,010 Oh, stop it, Senator. 228 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,304 - Andre, you know Candyman? - Of course! 229 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:59,057 I see you've replaced your hook with a champagne flute. 230 00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,309 Why would I want a glass container as a hand? 231 00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:03,603 It's a champagne flute holder. 232 00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:06,064 I'm sure that distinction is important to you. 233 00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:07,357 It is. 234 00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:10,610 I'm sorry. What am I doing? I'm sniping. 235 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:12,612 No, no. I got defensive. 236 00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:13,822 You brought up my hand, 237 00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:15,949 and it took me right back to the bathroom mirror. 238 00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,076 Here, let me top you off. 239 00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:19,744 - To Beverly. - To Beverly. 240 00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:22,622 You know, I never would have gotten into politics without her guidance? 241 00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:25,542 Oh, please. I took you as my date to one political fundraiser. 242 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:28,920 - Your charm did the rest. - Who? Little old me? 243 00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:32,841 I got to step out for a call. 244 00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:34,717 But, hey, tonight's not about me. 245 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,845 Bev, the floor is yours. 246 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,848 - Why are you here? - You're a dead man! 247 00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:41,099 Chomps! Bag him! 248 00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:42,851 I'm trying to get a clear shot! 249 00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:57,490 Now do you believe me? 250 00:10:57,574 --> 00:11:00,076 - Both of those guys were servers, too. - What does that prove? 251 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,162 Other than your ex-wife gives jobs to werewolves, 252 00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:04,330 and every time you see them, you escalate things. 253 00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:05,957 Don't patronize me. 254 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,835 Job Evaluation Help Desk. How may I help you? 255 00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,628 Hi, there. I'd like to restart my test. 256 00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:12,714 - You and everyone else here, ma'am. - Right. 257 00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:15,300 Except I wasn't aware you would be planting "Tom" 258 00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:17,302 to gaslight me into talking. 259 00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:21,097 What? No! I'm not snitching. I'm just telling you about-- 260 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,265 God damn it! 261 00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:25,101 - Hey, Mary. I think she's right. - What the fuck? Get out of here, Tom. 262 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:28,897 No, no. You wanted to restart your test, and I think this might be a special case. 263 00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:30,648 Of course it's a special case. 264 00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:31,774 "Elitist"? 265 00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,902 You know what? I tried to do this the honest way. 266 00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:35,737 Diagnostic Mode. 267 00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:40,283 And...there we go. 268 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:41,534 Clean reset. 269 00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:42,994 Resume functionality. 270 00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:47,165 What? I'm supposed to talk with the Chief of Staff? 271 00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:49,334 Do some kind of entrapment? 272 00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:52,921 Excuse me. I keep getting dinged for trying to have sex with the robots. 273 00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:54,672 Which robots do I complain to? 274 00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:56,174 These robots. 275 00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:58,343 Oh, my God, I'm a robot? 276 00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,136 Oh, my God, I'm a robot? 277 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,430 Oh, my God, I'm a robot? 278 00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:04,599 - I'm a robot? - Oh, my God, I'm a robot? 279 00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:07,435 I have memory but no memories! 280 00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,438 Diagnostic Mode! Diagnostic Mode! 281 00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:14,817 O'Doyle! 282 00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:17,737 Come on, man! 283 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:20,365 Now, most of you know this, but I grew up here, 284 00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:24,577 and even though I'm moving to the capital, I'll always be a Windy City kid. 285 00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:27,163 - Feel that wind! - I love you, Chicago. 286 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,957 Love you, Candyman. 287 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,167 And I love you, Wrigley Gum! 288 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,543 Wrigley! 289 00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:34,629 If I could vote for you twice, I would. 290 00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:37,757 - That'd be illegal. - But kind of hot. 291 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,968 Governor, the press photographer is all set up for you. 292 00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:43,054 - You ready? - For pictures? No. I'm shy. 293 00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:46,516 Oh, that's nice. Eyes up here, guys. Big smiles. 294 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,060 Oh, Candyman, get that champagne flute hand up for me. 295 00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:51,688 It's a champagne flute holder. 296 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,987 Ladies and gentlemen, you are now prisoners 297 00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:01,197 in a highly planned werewolf attack. 298 00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:04,117 All of the servers were in on it. 299 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,286 Yeah! I knew it! I told you, Chomps. 300 00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:09,289 - I killed three of them already. - You did what, now? 301 00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:11,416 Right. 302 00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:13,001 Shit. 303 00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:15,920 We are the Werewolf Anonymous. 304 00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:18,464 We've placed an EMP field around the block. 305 00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:20,341 Your technology is useless. 306 00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,218 He's right. Pheromone tracker is dead. 307 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:25,430 What the hell, guys? You were killing werewolves at my party? 308 00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:27,640 - I told you we should tell her. - It's true, ma'am. 309 00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:30,226 He wanted to, but I thought telling you might ruin his chances, 310 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,936 because he's still in love with you and-- 311 00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:33,813 Chomps! What the fuck, man? 312 00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:36,899 Excuse me. I'm trying to do a werewolf manifesto here. 313 00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:38,026 Oh, shut up, motherfucker! 314 00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:40,528 Also, you can't be anonymous and have a manifesto. 315 00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:41,654 Pick a lane. 316 00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:44,407 I can't take it anymore! I'm not a brave man! 317 00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:49,329 My God, the bastards rigged the door with werewolf teeth. 318 00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:53,958 Can you feel it, Senator, our power coursing through your veins? 319 00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:56,461 And she's trying to take that from us! 320 00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,838 We don't need to be cured. We like crime! 321 00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:02,592 Some werewolves got bit and want a second chance. 322 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:05,970 Not everyone who was dealt a mouth of bees chooses darkness. 323 00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:07,221 Shut up, Candyman! 324 00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:10,058 Look at you, a champagne flute for a hand. 325 00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,393 It's a champagne flute holder! 326 00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:15,104 It's the same thing, you cuck! You sold out. 327 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:16,564 I'm fucking Candyman! 328 00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:19,776 I pay more taxes than you, and I can drink all the champagne I want. 329 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,070 That doesn't make me spineless. It makes me awesome! 330 00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:25,865 Enough! Beverly, we left a gift on the center table. 331 00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:30,912 Use that to transfer all funds from your MoonRight program to us. 332 00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:33,790 And if you don't, you can all join us. 333 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,376 Oh, my God, a bomb covered in werewolf teeth? 334 00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:37,960 You sick bastards! 335 00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,380 You have 20 minutes, Beverly. 336 00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:44,050 What the hell is going on? 337 00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,886 Erasing my score voided out memories across multiple robots. 338 00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:49,555 That glitch set off a universal programming collapse. 339 00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:51,599 I found another special case! 340 00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:54,102 You know what? I don't like trains anyway. 341 00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:55,895 How do you feel about tunnels? 342 00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:57,772 Humans! I found humans! 343 00:14:57,855 --> 00:14:59,607 - Move. Get inside. - There they are! 344 00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:14,288 Huh? 345 00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:26,217 Is that the gun baby? 346 00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:29,011 - Why are you rescuing it? - Because I am gun baby! 347 00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:31,389 Searching for humans. 348 00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:34,058 You don't have to say it out loud, Tommy. We're all searching. 349 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:36,936 Shit. 350 00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:39,439 No, no, no. You have to be quiet, GB. 351 00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:42,775 - Hey, be gentle with him. - Relax. 352 00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:45,862 I'm simulating a full belly and syncing it to its sleep cycle. 353 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,448 I also reset our scores. This place can eat a dick. 354 00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:49,574 What are you doing? 355 00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:51,576 Dishonesty is the only way through those robots. 356 00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:54,620 I can't do that, so I'm putting myself in a leprechaun trance. 357 00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:58,665 - My God, why can't you just lie? - Because then my mother wins. 358 00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:04,672 You'll never have me gold. 359 00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:07,049 I don't want your gold. I have my own gold. 360 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,801 Call it me gold. 361 00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:10,261 Fuck off. You don't control me. 362 00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:14,474 Okay, everyone, move away from the werewolf senator. 363 00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:16,559 Stay on this side of the room. 364 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,019 Andre, you remember The Bean? 365 00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:20,188 The weird, shiny public art installation? 366 00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:22,315 Yeah. I never got why you liked it so much. 367 00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:23,816 You will after tonight. 368 00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:25,193 You two, be ready to move. 369 00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:26,986 Jessica, you sure about these bank numbers? 370 00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:28,863 - Yes, ma'am. - You're actually gonna pay them? 371 00:16:28,946 --> 00:16:31,115 They've got an EMP field surrounding the block. 372 00:16:31,199 --> 00:16:34,202 If the wire goes through, it means they're inside it. 373 00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:35,870 Hey! Anonymous bro! 374 00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:37,580 Don't fuck with us, Beverly. 375 00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:40,082 Okay. Fine. Just wired it. 376 00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:42,210 Wait. Seriously? Oh, my God! 377 00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:43,794 You realize I'm still gonna-- 378 00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,755 Wait. What the hell is that? 379 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,798 All right, people, do not panic! 380 00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:51,636 Inside The Bean! Everybody, now! Go, go! 381 00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:54,514 You heard her! Go! Go! Move, move, move! 382 00:16:58,142 --> 00:16:59,894 Chomps! Are you okay? 383 00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:01,854 Christ, you took a tooth for me. 384 00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,856 I'm all right, sir. My wounds are healing. 385 00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:06,858 That's not a good thing, though. It means the human you knew is dead. 386 00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:09,444 No, that's zombies. Werewolves retain a sense of self. 387 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,196 It's just a slave to the beast within. 388 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,657 Candyman, keep everyone safe in here until the cops come. 389 00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:14,784 Candy-do. 390 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,243 This is incredible, Bev! 391 00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:19,914 A remote-retrieval prepper den hidden inside a beloved work of public art. 392 00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:21,665 Like I said... 393 00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:22,875 nuance. 394 00:17:23,416 --> 00:17:25,127 You can do this. Just be calm. 395 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:27,964 You are a robot. You are a robot. 396 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,261 Hey. Just moving one of our guys. 397 00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:35,555 - Are you human? - Nope. Robot as they come. 398 00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:37,473 Check it out, dog. Cords in my head. 399 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,559 Okay. Robot enough for me. 400 00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:41,185 Holy shit. Yes. 401 00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:42,687 Stop her! 402 00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:44,730 She is not one of us! 403 00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:47,567 - You are not one of us. - What? 404 00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:50,611 I'm just saying, this guy comes in here, starts whining like a human. 405 00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:53,322 I am a robot. My face is literally metal! 406 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:54,907 So we're going by looks now? 407 00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:56,909 I heard you guys being suspicious about a fake robot. 408 00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:59,495 - This one seems emotional. - I do not trust him. 409 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:02,456 - Stop gaslighting me! - Pretty human thing to say. 410 00:18:03,374 --> 00:18:06,419 - Perhaps we should kill him to be sure. - Okay, let's tear him apart. 411 00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:08,296 No. No! I'm a real robot! 412 00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:09,880 I don't want to die! 413 00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:15,970 Wait. That cry. 414 00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:17,471 She's got gun baby! 415 00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:19,682 Okay, wake up. Wake the hell up! 416 00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:21,017 Your mother is winning! 417 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,144 Oh, God, that was hell! 418 00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:25,062 Can you please just start shooting? 419 00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:27,523 - Silver bullets? - Why silver? 420 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:28,941 Congratulations. 421 00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:32,028 You have passed the job-evaluation program. 422 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,613 Wait. Where's GB? 423 00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:37,533 Thank you, Banks. 424 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:41,120 And you, I guess you were the prize all along. 425 00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:42,413 No, no, no, no, no. 426 00:18:44,415 --> 00:18:45,833 I need you to feed it again. 427 00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,043 Fine. 428 00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,715 I am so jealous of that connection. 429 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,884 Don't be. You'll still get all the credit. 430 00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:57,178 How you doing, Chomps? 431 00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:59,138 Ready to be a good werewolf that fights other werewolves? 432 00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:01,223 I'd prefer to just be myself, sir. 433 00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:02,683 Remember, no killing. 434 00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:05,144 Arresting them at least gives them a chance to change. 435 00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:19,408 Chain gun! 436 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:23,079 Lucky for us, this is a pre-1985 building. Radiator heating is standard. 437 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,790 Christ, the legs on these guys. 438 00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:33,964 Shit. This must be where they filmed. 439 00:19:34,048 --> 00:19:35,299 That's far enough. 440 00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:38,219 You know, I could have run, 441 00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,888 but I told you not to fuck with me! 442 00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:43,015 Look at me. You don't think I've seen this before? 443 00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:45,184 I could make a call, get you in the program. 444 00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:48,479 - I will take you there myself. - Are you kidding me? No! 445 00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:50,564 It used to be a guy gets bit, he joins our team... 446 00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:53,401 Sir, I am succumbing to the darkness within. 447 00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:55,111 Oh, thank Christ. Do it. 448 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,196 We are monsters, damn it! 449 00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,824 Oh, shit. 450 00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:06,831 Sorry, Governor. Crime always wins. 451 00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:09,208 Candyman, Candyman, Candyman, Candyman, Candyman! 452 00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,752 - Oh, man, Candyman? - Believe in me. 453 00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:13,462 Be my victim! 454 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:21,429 - Cheers. - Get 'em off! Get 'em off! 455 00:20:21,512 --> 00:20:23,639 You belong to me now. 456 00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:27,727 Your death will be a horror story whispered by werewolf children! 457 00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:29,311 Hey, Candyman. 458 00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,564 You're more than the holder. 459 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:35,651 Sometimes I wish if you said my name a sixth time, 460 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,653 I'd just disappear. 461 00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,530 I know, man, I know. 462 00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:41,532 Thanks. 463 00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:47,872 Pretty big crowd out there, ma'am. You ready to governate this bitch? 464 00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:50,416 - I'll be out in a sec. - Yes, ma'am. 465 00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:51,667 Pretty amazing, Governor. 466 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:54,879 Defanging a werewolf syndicate on night one--not bad. 467 00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:57,465 I'm sure the press will love hearing you say that. 468 00:20:57,548 --> 00:21:01,010 Nah, I'm gonna take a back exit. It's your night, Bev. 469 00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:03,429 Thanks, Andre. 470 00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,723 Hey, can I ask you something? 471 00:21:05,806 --> 00:21:10,394 If I wasn't president, if I gave it all up, could this work? 472 00:21:10,478 --> 00:21:13,564 If you weren't president, who would you be? 473 00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:15,983 See you around, Andre. 474 00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:20,362 Come on, Chomps, let's go home. 475 00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:22,239 You know, when they reassigned me to you, 476 00:21:22,323 --> 00:21:25,785 I didn't think I'd end up a wolf creature ineligible for retirement. 477 00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:28,287 Hey, no. I'll get my best people on this. 478 00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:30,122 Could we stop at the park on the way home? 479 00:21:30,206 --> 00:21:33,209 No, but I do have a treat in the car. How about some candy? 480 00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:40,216 ♪ Werewolves stepping over boundaries ♪ 481 00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:42,927 ♪ With my ex-wife ♪ 482 00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:47,139 ♪ Candyman can be a good guy ♪ 483 00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:51,727 ♪ If you give him room to grow ♪ 484 00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:53,729 ♪ Werewolves, zero ♪ 485 00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:58,234 ♪ President, 100 ♪ 486 00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:01,612 Chomps, buddy, how you holding up? 487 00:22:01,695 --> 00:22:04,532 - I'm infected with lycanthropy, sir. - Are you, now? 488 00:22:04,615 --> 00:22:07,326 - Dr. Finch. - Yello! It's called a moon collar. 489 00:22:07,409 --> 00:22:09,286 It delivers a drip of silver serum 490 00:22:09,370 --> 00:22:12,289 that allows you to control when you werewolf-hulk out. 491 00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:14,458 - So it's a cure? - It's a start. 492 00:22:14,542 --> 00:22:17,169 And I just heard that under paranormal-agent guidelines, 493 00:22:17,253 --> 00:22:19,713 you won't have to retire for another 35 years, 494 00:22:19,797 --> 00:22:21,966 since they now calculate your age in dog years. 495 00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:24,760 - 35 years? - I know! Great, right? 496 00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:28,013 Stay strong, Alan Chomps! America loves you. 497 00:22:28,097 --> 00:22:29,515 Good girl, boo-boo. 498 00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:31,058 Did you get any of that?